MotivateMe! Quote 6/12/19

“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might as well put that passing time to the best possible use.” ~Earl Nightingale

Connie says, "I don't have time is one of the lamest excuses I hear (way too frequently) for not exercising, not completing a food or exercise journal, or not meal-prepping. We make time for what's most important to us. You can make time for healthy self-care, so please do it and then be the person who is 'fair and firm' with others who swear they 'just don't have time'. Don't buy it!!"

You're Not the Boss of Me

I had to chuckle when my husband and I were in church this weekend and the preacher shared the title to the current series: "You're Not the Boss of Me." The Lovebug and I have playfully used this phrase with one another (and our kids) hundreds of times over the years! I found it even more interesting when the preacher noted that the "You" he was referring to (as in "YOU are not the boss of me") is EMOTIONS! He is going to spend the next several weeks talking about how our EMOTIONS are NOT the boss of us... unless we let them be. 

You may or may not be familiar with the 10-week class I do three or four times a year online. In this program, I refer many times to the fact that we do not need to let our feelings "drive the bus!" This is exactly what the preacher is saying when he says that our emotions are not the boss of us! 

So often, people refer to themselves as "emotional eaters." When you are an emotional eater, you are definitely letting your emotions boss you around! You are putting your emotions behind the wheel of the bus - and they are not going to drive you anywhere safe! They'll drive you to the fast food joint or the ice cream parlor or the bakery and that is NOT where you want to go if you are serious about improving your health by lowering your weight and if you are serious about improving your quality of life by lowering your weight. 

We need to learn to talk back to our emotions if they threaten to take us to places we will later regret having gone. We don't want our emotions to lead us somewhere that will result in our asking, "What was I thinking?!" 

One way to prevent your emotions from bossing you around is to literally talk back to them! (You may want to have the conversation inside your head... unless you want everyone around you to leave you alone. In that case, go ahead and have the talk out loud!) When your emotions want to lead you to the candy jar, the vending machine or the break room where all the baked goods are, say, "YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME." Then remind yourself that your emotions, your feelings, are not FACTS. They are bodily sensations resulting from whatever you are thinking! If you're angry at your spouse and you want to "swallow" your anger by eating donuts, say to the anger, "YOU are not the boss of me." Remind yourself that you are a healthy adult and healthy adults know that food will not change your spouse - or your feelings, as least for very long. 

If you are upset at your actual work boss, and you say, out loud,  "You're not the boss of me," your boss might look at you like your job is in jeopardy... So if it's your actual boss you're upset with, I'd keep the words "You're not the boss of me" inside your head! Besides, it would be the FEELINGS related to the situation with your boss that you were talking to! 

Do NOT let your feelings dictate your behavior. You do NOT need to eat in response to your emotions. They AREN'T the boss of you. Use healthy coping skills like calling a friend to talk through your emotions before you eat or spend money you don't have or take a drink or flirt with someone with whom you ought not be flirting. Don't let your emotions dictate your behavior. Engage in healthy, adult coping practices. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Take a five-minute walk to clear your head. Read your favorite quote that centers you. Say a prayer. Write down five reasons your emotions aren't factual. And remind yourself that feelings pass. Treat yourself with kindness and respect, which means avoiding self-sabotaging behaviors. 

Have fun with this! Say it over and over, "You're NOT the Boss of Me!" Then take action, and like a good boss, and sort through what's going on, making healthy decisions that serve you in good ways. 

The preacher then noted another thing i repeat over and over in the Gain While You Lose Class (a great course for anyone struggling with regain): Your emotions are the results of your thoughts.

We'll talk about THIS in the next email! Oh - if you want to listen to the Andy Stanley series "You're Not the Boss of Me," the link is

MotivateMe! Quote 6/4/19

“You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.” ~Charles Kettering 

Connie says, "You can't really have tomorrow or yesterday, so pay attention to what you're thinking, how you're feeling and what you're doing today. Right now! Choosing to be positive and following through with your goals for today will make for a better reflection when you look back on today AND will set you up for a positive tomorrow... which will be today when it happens. You get my point! Stay in the moment. Do the next wise thing!."

MotivateMe! Quote 5/28/19

"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, he turned into a butterfly." --Proverb 

Connie says, "It can seem like the process of transforming into the person we want to be takes forever! However, like the caterpillar, we are making changes every day as long as we put effort into becoming the person we want to be. Others will see our emerging inner beauty before we recognize it within ourselves so take compliments from others with gratitude and a simple, 'Thank you!' Then say to yourself, 'I like the person I am choosing to become.'"

Adulting and Boundaries

There’s that word again… ADULTING. I actually like the word and enjoy that it’s caught on like it has. Adulting implies being responsible, setting limits, being accountable, and doing what needs to be done - whether you feel like it or not.

I’m gonna give you a way to think about Adulting after weight loss surgery from a perspective you may not have considered. I’m pretty sure it’ll help you see things in a helpful way.

Think of parenting (even if you aren’t a parent, you can easily do this.) Parents set BOUNDARIES for kids, (and good parents follow through with those boundaries)! Boundaries provide children with limits and with safety. Boundaries provide structure, which we all need. Boundaries parents set for children may include:

-          a set bedtime to assure the child gets enough sleep to be healthy, do well in school, etc.

-          limited time on “screens” (ipad, television, computer, phone, games, etc.) so that the child uses their imagination in other forms of play and to encourage other activities such as reading, sports, dance, etc.

-          limits on where and with whom the child can play and associate with

When you tell a child it’s time to get off the video game to go to bed, you can bet the child isn’t likely to just politely hand the machine over. No way! It’s more likely that the child will embark on a tirade, “But MOM, I’m almost finished with my game! You always make me quit before I’m finished! Just ten more minutes… PLEASE!” A healthy parent will say something like this, “I know you love playing your game and if you get all of your homework done and chores completed tomorrow, you can play it again. Right now you need to get sleep so you can be awake at school.”

Let’s consider your reaction when you leave a really stressful day at the office and your typical way of letting your day go comes from eating cookies. You get home and there are no cookies. Your family reminds you that you asked them to make sure there are no cookies or sweets in the house. You set boundaries for yourself to keep yourself on track, to be “safe.” How might that go?! Now we see a grown adult stomping her feet, screaming at the top of her lungs, “I just want a cookie! I have been so good all day. I DESERVE a cookie! Just get me a cookie!”

Hmmm. We want (and expect) our children to live by our guidelines (without talking back), but when an emotional eater or food addict is deprived of what they childishly claim they “deserve,” then look out! 

I’m sure you get the point. Adulting IS required when opting to have bariatric surgery! Set healthy boundaries for yourself and at least try to behave like an adult when you don’t get what you want when you want it! Stay tuned for more Adulting examples…!